Blog 4

There is many differences in the draft copy of the cover letter and of the final copy. With the help from his teachers notes and peer reviews, he was able to achieve executing a well written cover letter to send into the work force.
First, in the draft copy of the cover letter, the professor and peer-reviewer explained the opening paragraph was very vague and needed more information about the reasons why he would be good for this job and outlining more of his skills. In his final copy, he took these comments and re-wrote a great opening paragraph.
Next, in the second paragraph explaining the classes he took and how he understands the necessary computer programs the company uses, one comment the professor gave was to rephrase a certain sentence that ultimately sounded better. Again, he took that very revision and incorporated it into the second paragraph. Another important comment the teach gave was to have the student give reason of why it would be good for him to know how to use this particular computer program. As the professor put it, "the X, Y, and Z."
In the third paragraph, the main comments was to reword his sentences and create a better topic sentence, which ultimately the author ends up adding into his cover letter. Another very important suggestion was to expand on his knowledge of the internship itself. He will show that he has done his homework and is in fact very interested him the company and the job he would be doing at this company. The suggestion did say to perhaps make it in a separate paragraph, which the author did not end up doing. I do not think that was a bad decision the final draft works just fine without having a separate paragraph for it.
Finally, the one main thing the student was concerned about was whether he needed to expand more on his job descriptions, the spacing on the cover letter itself, and overall being informative enough. He ultimately achieved these with the help of the comments from his peer review and the professor. In the end, he produced a smart and well-written cover letter to send to the desired company.